Woman raised by lesbian moms speaks out AGAINST gay marriage

A woman raised by two lesbians has provoked controversy after publicly announcing that she is against gay marriage because she says she missed out on having her father in her life when growing up.

Heather Barwick, a 31-year-old mother-of-four from South Carolina, says her mother left her father when she was 2 or 3 so that she could move in with the woman she loved. 

'Gay community, I am your daughter. My mom raised me with her same-sex partner back in the '80s and '90s,' writes Barwick for the conservative publication The Federalist.

'I'm writing to you because I'm letting myself out of the closet: I don't support gay marriage. But it might not be for the reasons that you think. It's not because you're gay. I love you, so much. It's because of the nature of the same-sex relationship itself.'

Barwick recalls growing up in a very liberal and open-minded suburb surrounded by a 'tight-knit community of gay and lesbian friends' and says her mother's partner 'treated me as if I was her own daughter'.

She also admits that her biological father 'wasn't a great guy,' and 'didn't bother coming around anymore.'

Despite being an advocate for gay marriage in her 20s, Barwick now says she's had a change of heart.

'Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn't matter. That it's all the same. But it's not,' she writes.

'A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father's absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom's partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.'

Abigail Garner, an LGBT family-rights educator and author of the book Families Like Mine: Children Of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is, who was raised by two dads, told Yahoo Parenting that Barwick's reasoning didn't make much sense.

'While I sympathize with Heather's pain caused by being abandoned by her heterosexual father, her pain has nothing to do with same-sex marriage,' she said.

'We are all entitled to our personal narratives, but I strongly disagree with Heather's contrived attempt to offer her personal story as a case for blocking other families' access to marriage rights.'

Speaking to Christian publication World, Barwick said she only found healing for her 'father wound' after she began attending church with her future husband. 

'It really wasn't until I came to Christ that I felt that burden lifted off of me. And I'm not bitter. I'm not angry,' she said. 'I forgive my dad.'

Barwick said there had been long-term consequences to going up with two mothers. 

'I'm not gay, but the relationship that was modeled before me was a woman loving a woman. So I've struggled as an adult figuring out how to be in a relationship with my husband.'

Barwick is also one of six people raised by gay parents who signed a public letter of support this week for designers Dolce & Gabbana following their controversial statements about gay parents.