Saturday, 11 November 2017

‘My husband wants to send me packing after 5 daughters’

My name is Deborah, a 40-year-old married woman with five children, all girls. My husband, Chukwuma and his family think I am the one at fault and have concluded plans to send me packing on account of that.

I love my husband with all my life and would gladly do anything for him but how an educated man and a director in a bank would think a woman is to be blamed for giving him female children beats my imagination.

We got married 15 years ago and our first daughter came a year later. When I was pregnant, Chukwuma kept referring the baby as his son and heir and had so many plans for the child.

But when the baby turned out to be a girl, the disappointed he felt was very noticeable though he tried all he could to shield it.

He told me that he was sure the next child would be a male and when my baby was nine months old, I became pregnant again and gave birth to another baby girl.
The three other girls followed in quick succession and I notice how disappointed my husband and his family were and started blaming me. My husband started behaving in a funny manner and most times, would not play with the children.

The older ones know that their father is disenchanted with them as he keeps talking about how unlucky he is that he has not been able to have a male child.
He takes out his frustration on the innocent kids, often shouting and screaming at them. There was a day he told our first daughter that he is tired wasting his money on girls.
Even when I told him that I only bring forth what he deposits in me, Chukwuma, with all his education, would not accept that. Instead, he thinks I have been wired to have only female children.

His friends have told him repeatedly that there is nothing a male child would do that a female would not do but my husband would have none of that. He thinks they are making a mockery of him because they all have male children.

Now, he and his family have made plans to send me packing and get him another woman who they think would give him male children.

I am really worried. How would I take care of my daughters if Chukwuman sends us packing? Why do women often take the blame for having female children? Why is it difficult for some men to know that they are the ones who plant the female children in their wives?
Dear readers, this is another serious case on our hands and on Morning Teaser today, what do you think Deborah should do?

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